319. Clarity & Harmony: The New Mantras of Success with Clara Capano

Transcript

Download Transcript Here

The Daily Helping Episode 319: Clara Capano

Clara Capano: [00:00:00] So, my vision on a professional level is, again, to impact a million lives or more. So, every day, what am I doing today towards this vision? When I make decisions to do a speaking engagement, to work with somebody one-on-one, whatever it is, is this going to deliver the impact that's in alignment with my vision?

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:00:27] Hello and welcome to The Daily Helping with Dr. Richard Shuster, food for the brain, knowledge from the experts, tools to win at life. I'm your host, Dr. Richard. Whoever you are, wherever you're from, and whatever you do, this is the show that is going to help you become the best version of yourself. Each episode you will hear from some of the most amazing, talented, and successful people on the planet who followed their passions and strived to help others. Join our movement to get a million people each day to commit acts of kindness for others. Together, we're going to make the world a better place. Are you ready? Because it's time for your Daily Helping. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of The Daily Helping Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Richard. And we have an awesome guest to share with you today here to talk about her newest book. Her name is Clara Capano. She's an international speaker and trainer, best selling author, and she's been on a gazillion media platforms. She's also the host of the Working Women's Channel and Living Real TV. She's the founder and CHO - what is that? Chief Harmony Officer. I love that - of Capano Speaking and Training, and the creator of the CLARATY Success Method. Her passion is providing business owners and teams with key strategies to help them make more money without losing work-life-harmony. Clara, this is going to be a great discussion. I can't wait to talk about your new book and some of the other really cool things that you've created. Welcome to the Daily Helping. It is awesome to have you with us today.

Clara Capano: [00:02:05] Well, Dr. Richard, thank you for allowing me to come on and share with both you and all your listeners. We're going to have a great time.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:02:12] Indeed we are. So, what I love to do is I love to know people's why, so let's hop in the Clara Capano time machine. Let's go back in time. What was the kind of seminal moment or the spark that put you on the path you're on today?

Clara Capano: [00:02:28] You know, that's a great question. And it all started when I was a teenager. I actually suffered from an eating disorder. And when I was going through my treatment, one of the things that I noticed is there was a huge disconnect of communication between doctors and patients. And I decided that I wanted to do something that was going to teach people how to better communicate together so they could have deeper impact. So, I had that idea and I decided that that's what I wanted to do. And then, along the way, I was talked out of it and told that that would never happen, people would never pay you for that. So, I decided to go the safe route and looked at getting into more of the field of law. But over time, that nugget inside of me just kept building and building. And what it turned into is me going down the path of coaching, consulting, and training. And I just have always come back to it knowing that my purpose and my role is to deliver impact to people so that they can communicate better, connect better, and just live a better life.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:03:34] It's always interesting, and what you described is pretty similar to what I hear a lot of people creating impact in the world say, you know, that's kind of always been there. And also, similarly, is there's usually somebody who tells them, "Well, that's really stupid." But you decided anyway to not listen to those people. And now, you know, you've got a massive platform. You've helped so many people. I'm curious, one of the things we talked about as I read in your intro was the CLARATY Method - we love acronyms - tell us about that. Tell us what that means.

Clara Capano: [00:04:08] Well, you know, all my life I actually did not like my name. I have three siblings and they all have very common names, Lisa, Paul, and Amy. And then, there was Clara. And I always wanted something more common. But then, it dawned on me, that's what I do to deliver impact is I deliver clarity. So, I took my name and I broke it down, and this is sort of the method that I use. So, the C stands for bringing people clarity of their vision. Because, you know, our vision iS everything. That's our rocket fuel. That's our guiding post. That is really the heart of everything that we do. So, we've got to get clear on our vision why we are here. The L is all about leveraging time. You know, people waste time. And time is the most valuable thing that we have. So, I teach people how to leverage their time so they can use it to their highest and best use. We then tie that to the first A, which is all about action. But getting clear, it's not about doing everything. It's about doing the right thing. So, we start to unpack and uncover what are the vital few things that we really need to be doing and how can we make sure we're doing those at the highest level so we focus on our optimal schedule and how we can make sure those right actions happen. As much as we need action, we also need rest and reflection. So, talking about the impact of how taking care of ourselves, our mind, our body, our spirit really is essential to our true success. We also then bring it to the next A, which is all about articulating our value. Because no matter what industry we're in, there's more than one of us doing what we do, and people connect with value. So, we have to get clear on what makes us different and unique and how we're going to capture that and articulate that to our clients. We then talk about the T, which is all about tracking and measuring. We don't know if things are working unless we start tracking and measuring. So, we talk about what should we be tracking and measuring and coming up with different ways to do that. And then, finally, the Y is yes, it's time to celebrate. Too many of us wait until the end of the year to see if we achieved our goals. But you know what? We need to celebrate each and every day. We need to celebrate along the way. So, breaking it down to some key things that we can do even at the end of each day to make sure that we're winning each day.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:06:24] You know, I like them all, but the Y is really cool because many of us talk about - and I do. I have a gratitude practice - being grateful and celebrating the wins are two very different things entirely. And so, I'd love for you to take us through a little bit of, you know, how you encourage people to celebrate. What are the milestones that they're looking for? How do we gauge kind of how big the celebration is? Let's dive into the Y a little bit, because that's a fun one.

Clara Capano: [00:06:56] Absolutely. So, you know, I think you should have some targets for the big goals, and these can be an end of the year goal, it could be a quarterly goal. But, again, something to really celebrate. It could be taking yourself to a nice dinner, it could be buying yourself something that you've been looking at, or taking a day off just for you or maybe your significant other, but more simplistically into each and every day. And what I do is I build on that gratitude practice because I also run a gratitude practice. What I do is I call it Bookending My Days. So, what I do is I start my day with gratitude. What are three things that I'm grateful for today? And then, at the end of the day, I come back and one of the last things I do is what are three great things that happened today. Because so many of us get to the end of the day and we focus on everything we didn't get done. But then, we're ending the day with negativity and scarcity, where we want to end it with positivity and abundance. Because even if we don't get everything on our list done, we still get great things done every day. So, by doing that, it allows us to start our days with that positivity, that energy, that focus. And end our day is really reflecting on the things and it allows us to, again, celebrate the beauty of each and every day.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:08:10] That's very fun. I really like the way that that's positioned. I also want to dig into the L a little bit because this is something that I talk about, and everybody's got kind of a different spin on the leveraging of one's time. So, give me the Clara version of how you work with your clients to leverage their time.

Clara Capano: [00:08:32] Right. And, you know, it's about looking at where are we investing our time so we can actually do less of the right things. But leveraging time can look at sort of pairing things together. So, for example, I need to take my dog for a walk and I also need to do personal development for my own personal growth. I can leverage my time by listening to a podcast while I take my dog for a walk. So, it's little things like that and bringing those together. I travel a lot. I'm on the road 30, 35 weeks a year. So, when I am doing a lot of reach outs to my clients and maintaining relationships, I can do that from the airport rather than just waiting. A big one is on the airplane. I could just watch a movie on the airplane, but why not use that two or three hours productively and do some work on it? So, it's all about, again, looking at these opportunities that we can really leverage and use to a higher use. So that, again, we can really get the most bang out of our days.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:09:34] Beautifully said. I think the airport one in particular, like even just sitting at the gate, that's an opportunity, right? You're sitting there for 20 minutes, pull out your laptop, contacts and peeps. All right. Very good. I just want to do one more of these and then I want to, you know, shift gears a little bit. Clarity of vision. And so, I love this because if you don't know what you want to be, who you want to be, and why you want to be, you're going to have less success. So, talk to us in the Clara Capano mindset here. Talk to us about clarity of vision.

Clara Capano: [00:10:09] Well, again, your vision really is your driving force. And everything you do, every decision you make, has got to come back to Are these actions moving me closer to my vision? You know, someone once asked me if discipline or motivation was more important. For me, it's motivation. Because when I know what I am doing, when I know what I am working towards, the discipline is so much easier. So, my vision on a professional level is, again, to impact a million lives or more. So, every day, What am I doing today towards this vision? When I make decisions to do a speaking engagement, to work with somebody one-on-one, whatever it is, is this going to deliver the impact that's in alignment with my vision? So, it's using that. So, whether your vision is financial freedom or having an amazing relationship with your family, significant others, whatever your vision is, always using that as your compass and aligning your days so that your days are using that. And then, on the moments where you're not feeling super energized and motivated, because we all have those days, coming back and really reconnecting. A great example of this for the working professional are sales calls. People really don't enjoy doing those. They have a lot of call reluctance. But the idea is when you drive it back to the impact, I like to do my sales calls because they aren't sales calls, they're connection calls, because it's all about how can I deliver impact and value to this person I'm speaking to. So, I don't have to worry about the calls. It actually encourages me and excites me about doing what I need to do because it all comes back to delivering that impact.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:11:55] Not only that, I heard you do something quite clever in that statement. You reframed sales calls - as you said, for many has such a pejorative connotation - to connection calls, which is the very essence of what you're trying to do. So, I absolutely love this funny acronym, and I'm grateful that you were able to dive into it a little bit with us today. What I also want to do is I want to talk about your book. You've had a number of bestselling books, and your newest one is available everywhere tomorrow. This is awesome. So, tell us the name of the book and why you were compelled to write it. Why now?

Clara Capano: [00:12:33] Definitely. So, the title of the book is The Mother of All Success Manuals: How to Control Your Days, Lose the Guilt, and Find Harmony Between Work and Life. And this is sort of my message to working moms. I work with everybody, but my heart space tends to be with that working mom because that's what I am. So, this book is my blood, sweat, and tears from all of the lessons that I have learned being a working mom, the good, the bad, and everything in between. So, I get very real and raw talking about the trade offs, the way that we have to, again, bring that clarity in to make it all work. And I chose this just because, you know, I really felt I could speak to it. And I had my own personal breakdown and triumph through total burnout, which, again, is really the heartbeat of what led to this. And so, it's just providing some really key strategies that are going to help people, again, learn how to get back in the driver's seat of their life and realize it's not about choosing one thing or the other, that there is a way to bring that harmony together.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:13:50] Do you mind taking us through that story. You said you had a burnout, a breakdown, would you share kind of how that went for you? And then, we'll talk about those strategies.

Clara Capano: [00:14:00] Sure. Absolutely. So, at the age of about 37, 38, I found myself as a single mom, and my son was about three, three-and-a-half at the time. And being the classic overachiever I am, I was working my fulltime job. I was building my consulting business. I was going and getting my master's degree. And I thought I was nailing it. I was getting everything done. But behind the scenes, I was really crumbling because I wasn't showing up present. I was not taking care of myself or my key relationships. And it was really only a matter of time before everything just came crashing down on me. And the moment that that happened, happened to have been with my son. And we were sitting there one night and he came over to show me a picture that he had been drawing. And he was so proud to say, "Mommy, look at my picture." And because I was working, I wasn't truly present and paying attention to him, my comment was something along the lines of, "Oh. That's nice, sweetie. Mommy will look at that in a few minutes. Mommy's busy right now." And lucky for me, he came back to me with the statement, "Mommy, you're not paying attention to me." And it was in that moment that it was sort of like, "Okay. This is not where I want to be. This is not who I want to be." And after I put him to bed that night, it turned into that ugly crying session on the bathroom floor of What is happening? How did I get here? And I had to get real clear and real honest with myself because I was not being the woman, the mom, the friend, anybody that I had intended to be. And I was living a lie because all of the things I was preaching, all of the things I was doing, I was not living in integrity. And so, all of these key strategies sort of stemmed from that moment and just really making the commitment to myself to become better and to become the person I truly wanted to become.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:16:01] So, let's talk about those strategies. What were the things that you were able to use to become the person you wanted to be?

Clara Capano: [00:16:06] Yeah. So, one, again, getting clear on my vision. And a big part of this was, for me, redefining success. You know, as that overachiever, success to me was always about checking off the boxes, Do I have the bank account? Do I have the title? All of these things. And what I really had to get clear on was none of those things really mattered. What I really wanted to do is, again, to make sure I was living each day having success. And success to me meant Am I showing love? Am I delivering impact? Am I contributing positively to the world? So, I started reworking my vision to make sure that every day I was leading with those, how can I deliver value today rather than can I get a contract signed, can I make money today. It all came back to that vision of Am I delivering value today? So, that was one of them. The other one was, again, setting boundaries and protecting my time and learning how to leverage time. So, a big part of that was saying no. I would say no to anything that was going to take me away from my true vision. So, when something came up, I would ask myself, Does this make good business sense? If I say yes to this, what is it I have to say no to? So, I would use those checks and balances to make better decision. I rewired my mindset around self-care. That self-care was not selfish, that it truly was the most selfless thing because I could not be there the way that I wanted to be there for anybody else when I was depleted. So, I started to look at investing in myself meant that I was going to be able to deliver that value to others. And if I wasn't taking care of myself, that vision was never going to happen. So, just kind of looking at all of those things, those were really the places that I started with and just being very intentional and purposeful with how I showed up every day.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:18:02] These are very interesting. The first one you spoke of - actually, clarity of vision was the first you spoke of, but redefining success. Because, one, what success means to you may not be what it means to somebody else. But moreover, we change what we value based on experience and based on wisdom and based on time. So, what success meant to me five years ago is not at all what success means to me today. And so, I really enjoyed, Clara, that you were able to tie that back to your vision, because, ultimately, if you're listening to this and you're feeling a little bit stuck, think about what really matters to you. It may be the money, right? And money is important, right? There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a rocking bank account. But it could be other things. It could be having time to do whatever you want for an hour a week. It can be having time to spend with the people you care about the most. So, that was really cool. The other one, saying no, of course, is important. And you're absolutely right and this is something that I believe in fully, is that if you say yes to anything, you are automatically saying no to something else. And if that no ends up saying no to looking at your kid's drawings, that's a problem. The one that I liked the most was the statement you made, self-care is not selfish. I think that's really cleverly worded, but it's important. Because I didn't hear that really - well, yes, your R in CLARATY was rest and relaxation, but self-care, again, that's relative. You know, self-care to you might be sitting on a beach, self-care to me might be reading a book. It's what it is to you. But the important thing is carving out time. I'm curious, and there's no right or wrong answer to this, generally, for most people, but do you choose to inject the self-care in the middle of your day, in the beginning of the day? Like, when do you practice self-care?

Clara Capano: [00:20:25] Well, again, it depends on each day. What I really work to teach people is 15 minutes of joy every day. You know, we've got to light ourselves up. And exactly like you said, Dr. Richard, it's relative to the person. So, you have to find what lights you up. Yes, it could be going to the gym. It could be a massage. But it could be taking your dog for a walk. It could be watching trash television or reading a book. It's whatever makes your soul smile. So, you know, those little things, I probably do it morning, noon, and night because, again, for me, I understand that. But one of the things I love to do is, again, my gratitude practice gets me going. That's something that brings me joy. A great cup of coffee in the morning brings me joy. So, that's sort of a ritual. In the middle of the day, I generally do  when I'm working from home, I generally take a nap. That is something that brings me joy and that re-energizes me, and sort of just, again, allows my brain to quiet. And then, at the end of the day, I love to be able, I mean, I'm a scroller through TikTok. It makes me laugh. I love looking at videos of puppies. So, again, those are some of the things outside of just being with my son and with my friends. But just making sure that you are carving out, and as busy as we all are, start with five minutes. But spending five minutes for yourself to do something for you that's going to fill you up is a great place to start.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:21:52] I love it. So, we talked about a few of these strategies, take us through some of the other key tenants that somebody's going to get out of reading this book.

Clara Capano: [00:22:01] You know, I think one of the biggest things they're going to get is just the understanding that we cannot do it all, nor should we want to do it all. So many of us, men, women, together, we do far too much. And what we need to do is start to simplify it and, again, get really clear on the right things we need to do. So, being able to get clear, because at the end of the day, regardless of what we do, we are the CEO of our life and our business. And we need to start thinking about what is our role as the CEO and are we doing those things. So, I just think it's really going to help, you know, people get that clarity they need of what they should be focusing on, and how to block out the noise, how to delegate with purpose, and, again, how to make sure that they are staying in their lane and their zone of genius. You know, I'm so proud of this book and, actually, when I was recording the audiobook and going through it, so many new things hit. So, it's not necessarily a question that I have or that I would like you to ask. I just think that for anyone out there, I mean, yes, it's designed for the working mom, but it's not just solely for her, but anyone that is out there that feels like they're living on that hamster wheel, that they are falling behind, that they are disconnected from their life, and that they have that lack of balance. This book is going to put them back in control of their life and business and, again, bring them that harmony.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:23:33] Yes. I love it. I love it. And that book is available everywhere tomorrow. Fantastic.

Clara Capano: [00:23:41] Tomorrow.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:23:41] This is awesome, Clara. Time has flown by, I'm going to ask you, as you know, one question, and I ask everybody who comes on this show, what is your biggest helping? That single, most important takeaway you'd love for somebody to walk away with after hearing our conversation today?

Clara Capano: [00:24:02] I think bringing it all back to that idea of vision. Get clear on defining what you want your life to look like. Get clear on what does success mean to you. Own it. Your why is your why. And then, use that vision to drive you, to allow you to stay connected, and to really be that rocket fuel inside your soul that lights you up every day.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:24:27] Beautifully said, Clara. Tell us again where people can connect with you online and tell us where they can get their hands on your newest book.

Clara Capano: [00:24:37] Beautiful. So, the best place is just to go to my website, which is just claracapano.com. And on the website, they can get access to all my books. And my books are all on Amazon. They can get access to my shows as well as just learn a little bit about how they can work with me. But then, also, on social media, if they just search my name, I'm all over Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, all the good ones.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:24:59] Awesome. And we'll have everything Clara Capano in the show notes at thedailyhelping.com. Well, Clara, this has been great. Excited to read your new book. Thank you so much for coming on The Daily Helping today.

Clara Capano: [00:25:11] Thank you, Dr. Richard. I really appreciate what you are doing and the platform that you are creating so that we all can get better each and every day. So, I honor you for what you're doing as well.

Dr. Richard Shuster: [00:25:22] I appreciate that. And I want to also thank each and every one of you who took time out of your day to listen to the show. If you liked it, if you found it inspiring, go give us a follow on Apple Podcasts and leave us a five star review, because that is what helps other people find the show. But most importantly, go out there today and do something nice for somebody else, even if you don't know who they are, and post it on your social media feeds using the hashtag #MyDailyHelping, because the happiest people are those that help others.