Ep. 114: Give Yourself the Dad’s Edge: Becoming a Better Husband & Father | with Larry Hagner

Today our expert guest is Larry Hagner. He is the founder of the Good Dad Project and host of the Dad Edge podcast, the number one podcast for dads on iTunes.

Larry is the father of 4 boys, and he’s been married for 14 years to his incredible wife Jessica. He breaks down strategies for men to be the best version of themselves and help men navigate through life through creating a band of brothers. He also helps men with mental toughness, emotional resilience, financial stress, relationships and work-life integration.

His book, The Dad’s Edge is a #1 Amazon best seller, and he is also the host of the Dad Edge Alliance mastermind with hundreds of members.

Larry grew up for the first four years of his life not having a father. It never really bothered him at the time, he didn’t know what it was like having one. His mom eventually remarried, but unfortunately his step-father had a drinking problem that led to his parents getting divorced at the age of 10.

At 12, he ran into his biological father and started to develop a relationship with him. They spent time together for a few months, until his dad decided that this wasn’t the right time to have him in his life.

This was incredibly hard for Larry, and he was struggling to deal with it. He began over-eating, he gave up on school and failed the 8th grade, and in high school he didn’t really have any directions.

Larry turned his life around his junior year of high school. He lost a bunch of weight, graduated high school, and put himself through college where he graduated with a degree in health management, and got married to his wife who he is still with today.

From the time Larry had his first son, he knew he didn’t want to screw it up, but for the first 6 years he admits he was doing it wrong. He was living isolated, emotionally and mentally, and he didn’t know how to be a good husband. He just didn’t have good men in his life to help him along the way.

Dad Edge came about when Larry hit a low, dark place. He was struggling with his marriage, with his kids. Larry was putting all of his time into his work. After an incident where he lost his temper and spanked his son hard, he felt so ashamed, he ran to his office to escape. On social media, tears in his eyes, he saw the “create a page” button and the words “Good Dad Project” just rolled off his mind.

Larry decided to devote himself every day to learning something new about being a better husband and father. In 2013 he started the blog, Good Dad Project, and in 2015 the podcast launched and he wrote his first book. In his book, he covers the five dimensions that we aren’t taught how to handle in school: finances, marriage, kids, health, and career.

Here are 5 actionable things you can start doing immediately to see results against these 5 dimensions:

• Finances: Use the YNAB budgeting software to give every dollar a job.
• Marriage: 4 elements to a legendary marriage — self-care, partnership, friendship, and lovers.
• Kids & Health: Take care of your mental health so you have the patience and energy to serve your kids better.
• Career: Ask yourself, “What is the work that makes you come alive, and how can you do more of it?” Don’t run away from your 9-5, find what you love and chase that.

Larry wanted to write something to solidify what we could actually do as fathers. He wondered, “what is the simplest thing that I can do?” So he wrote in a way as if he was sharing with his friend all the things he did wrong, so they don’t repeat those mistakes. Having other men in your life, taking care of yourself, having connections with your kids through experiences, and constantly dating your wife are just some of the things you can learn about.

The Biggest Helping: Today’s Most Important Takeaway

“The biggest helping and the thing that feels the best is when you simply let go of your ego. You don’t have to know it all, and you don’t have to figure this all out on your when it comes to fatherhood, when it comes to your kids, when it comes to being married.

Being constantly curious. As much time, effort, and training that you put into your job and productivity, you can take that same approach to being a husband and father. Be constantly curious, be a student.”

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Thank you for joining us on The Daily Helping with Dr. Shuster. Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Google Play to download more food for the brain, knowledge from the experts, and tools to win at life.

Resources:

• Learn more at  https://www.gooddadproject.com
• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/thedadedge/
• Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodDadProject/
• Twitter:  https://www.twitter.com/GoodDadProjct
• Dad Edge Alliance:  http://www.gooddadproject.com/alliance
• Money management software:  http://ynab.com/dads

The Daily Helping is produced by Crate Media