380. Tactical Harmony with Rebecca Fitzsimmons

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Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Humans are so incredibly powerful and capable of absolutely anything that the only limit is the limit that you place on yourself.

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Hello and welcome to The Daily Helping with Dr. Richard Shuster, food for the brain, knowledge from the experts, tools to win at life. I'm your host, Dr. Richard. Whoever you are, wherever you're from, and whatever you do, this is the show that is going to help you become the best version of yourself. 

Each episode, you will hear from some of the most amazing, talented, and successful people on the planet who followed their passions and strive to help others. Join our movement to get a million people each day to commit acts of kindness for others. Together, we're going to make the world a better place. Are you ready? Because it's time for your Daily Helping.

Thanks for tuning into this episode of The Daily Helping podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Richard. And our guest today has this fascinating backstory as she is brilliant. Her name is Rebecca Fitzsimmons. She's the founder of Tactical Harmony, an online business dedicated to mentoring ambitious professionals and businesses on holistic leadership and mindset strategies.

She's also the host of the Tactical Harmony podcast in which she shares game changing transformative tactics, supporting her community to gracefully navigate their career and home life, which we all can appreciate, while enjoying freedom, abundance, and bliss. There's a lot more that I'm leaving out because I want Rebecca to tell her story of where her career is kind of blended in this really neat way and how now she's making a huge impact in the world. 

Rebecca. Welcome to The Daily Helping podcast. It is awesome to have you with us today. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Thank you so much, Dr. Richard. I am honored and privileged and so grateful to be here. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Well, we are grateful to have you with us today. So I intentionally left out the two most fascinating paragraphs of your bio because they talk about your superhero origin story, which those always excite me so much. So let's jump on the Rebecca Fitzsimmons time machine. Take us back to what puts you on the seminal path that you're on today. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, thank you for asking this very important question. I think we all have such unique, interesting journeys in life. And for me, I'm born and raised in a very small town in Ohio. And it really started off my beginnings. It was very humble beginnings. And I just had this adventurous spirit that I knew that I was meant to serve on a great scale. And I just didn't know what that looked like. 

So all of that to say is I eventually became an NCIS special agent. NCIS is the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. So we support our warfighters and the Department of the Navy to include our United States Marines and sailors around the globe, and we do that with criminal investigations, counterintelligence and counterterrorism. And so I was an NCIS special agent for 14 and a half years, the majority of which was NCIS. I was a special agent with another agency for a little bit. 

And that really gave me such a global, beautiful perspective of the world. I had the honor and privilege to serve across many field offices here in the United States, but I also served in our Europe and Africa field offices for many years in Italy. And it was through those years that I started to see the power of mindset and the power of holistic leadership. 

And then when I left NCIS and I joined the leadership ranks at a technology company, guess what, the same principles apply. Any industry, any level, it is an undeniable truth that holistic leadership and mindset gets you from where you are to where you want to go faster. And for your audience, Dr.

Richard, I want to make sure that I define holistic leadership because I think there's some confusion. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

I was just going to ask you. So you're reading my mind. Go.

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, I love it. Perfect. We're on the same sheet of music. So holistic leadership is a whole person approach, and that means your mind, your body and your spirit, all parts of you, to influence and inspire your life, as well as others. So it encompasses personal or self-leadership, as well as leadership in the traditional sense of the word, how you're leading your team, your business or your family. 

And there are a gazillion strategies and tactics and all of which that I deep dive with my teams and my clients in tactical harmony. But it comes down to understanding this amazing truth, and I call it my awakening. I really want to give this justice and that's, we are the creators of our life. This is like my queen, king of pivotal moments. When I really understood and then embodied and lived this truth, everything changed because if you think about it, everything around us is a crystallization of who we are, who we're thinking, we're being, we're saying, all of our deeds, our actions, everything is a mirror of reflecting right back at us. 

So once we subscribe to this truth, we can understand that if we want to change something, if we don't like something, it starts with us. Mind, body and spirit, it starts with us. And once we tap in, tune, and dial in and understand we can't lead others in our life, we can't lead ourselves, everything truly changes. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

I think this is so interesting because, and again, we're so much on the same page because as you were talking, I'm thinking, yeah, this applies in the boardroom, but this also applies with the family unit, of course you mentioned. So I'm loving the harmony. And so tell us then, now you have this entity called Tactical Harmony, which I love the name. 

So tell us specifically some of the things you're doing there from a transformation standpoint and how you help people get there. Because I think the how is really important and you did a great job explaining at a macro level, it's just the mind, the body, the spirit, but let's boil that down into specific actionable things that whether you're leading a business of 5 employees, 10, 100 employees, or just your spouse and your two kids, how to implement some of these things that can really make a huge difference in your life.

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Thank you for asking that amazing question, Dr. Richard. There are -- there's so many wonderful things to say and, but I'm going to boil it down to one big thing, and that is having a victory mindset. And I define that with four main components, and this really encompasses the spirit and the essence, not only of tactical harmony, but of holistic leadership and how you can get from where you are to where you want to go faster and sustainably.

And so victory mindset, number one is discipline. And I define discipline as the ultimate expression of self-love. That means you do the things when you want to do them and you do the things when you don't want to do them, because you understand that the small sacrifices you're making in the moment lead to those long term gains and wins. So number one is discipline. 

And the second part of having a victory mindset is integrity. And I look at integrity as authenticity. Are you living a life that is authentic? Are you truly expressing who you are as a person? And I could talk for hours about authenticity, but looking at it from are you doing the things that you would normally do without any kind of fear of punishment or pain? I am myself unapologetically all the time at work and at home. I don't have a mask on. I am Rebecca Fitzsimmons, right? 

And so having that really means that you're living a soul aligned life. Everything is aligned and that alignment is huge. When we don't have alignment, we're going to feel that disharmony, that discord. You might feel stuck, things aren't quite working, you're efforting, you don't understand, you're checking all the boxes, that's because you're not aligned. And usually, it boils down to authenticity. 

Third component would be taking inspired action. That is huge because knowledge is great, and insight is great, but if you're not acting, if you're not moving, if you're not executing, it's not going to help you. It's not going to serve you. So taking those continuous actions every single day, the small actions, the big actions and everything in between are absolutely critical to transforming your life and seeing change manifest outside of you and within you. 

And then the fourth part, which is the glue that holds it all together is grace. Grace with yourself. Grace and compassion with others and grace from God and the creator. It is absolutely so critical to have that grace through all of the things, the ups and downs, the mountain and valleys of change. It's having grace. 

And so to answer your question, victory mindset, number one, first and foremost is tapping and tuning into yourself and that mind and that body and that spirit. So then you can call in what you want in life, personally and professionally. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

So, I first want to ask if somebody's listening to this or like, yeah, that really resonates with me. I don't think I know how to tap into my mind, body, and spirit. So before they even get to these four things, and I want to dive into those a little deeper first, but I wanted to take that step back. So if somebody has got that perspective, I don't really know how to begin. What would your response to them be?

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, I get this question all the time. It's such an important question. And that is, there's a lot of strategies, but it really starts with having that mindfulness and that introspection and feedback. It's that honest, raw, look at yourself. And we can only do that when we stop moving, when we quiet everything around us, and we really just look inward, which can be a very scary real moment for many people. 

If we're moving, we're grooving, we got a lot going, our family, our business, our careers, the community and all of that is great. But if we don't take that moment of reflection to really pause and reflect and look inward, then we're going to be missing things. 

And there's a lot of modalities you can use. Meditation is one that is absolutely transformative and huge, but you can also, without meditating, close your eyes. You can pause where you are and really lean into -- it’s emotional intelligence. It's that self-regulation, self-awareness, as much as it is social awareness and regulation, and looking at how am I thinking? Like, what are my thoughts? 

Start to question yourself, right? Like, interrogate yourself. What am I thinking? Is this serving me? Is this something that's limiting me and making me play small? Like, ask yourself this question. Like, you're having a conversation with yourself. How am I feeling about this? Why am I angry? Why am I frustrated? Why am I happy? Right? And like, write it down, be intentional and deliberate about it. Like really journal it, get it into your body, revisit it and start to have that continuous reflection and introspection and do this every day. Start small. It can be 5 minutes, 10 minutes. 

And then you'll see that what you learn and what comes to the surface could surprise you and you realize, oh, wow, that is a limiting belief, right? I'll pick up a low hanging fruit. Money doesn't grow on trees. We've heard that or money is the root of all evil. Well, why do you think that? Did that come from your childhood or a colleague or like, why are we, nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so. It's the meaning we put to things, and we should question the meaning that we assign so that we can live a life free of suffering. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

I can't help but love that the former NCIS special agent told us to interrogate ourselves. But I like this because in a way, like, I always try and find what are the threads that kind of tie this back to the clinical psychology piece. And a lot of this actually has, I won't say it's rooted in, but it certainly has parallels to cognitive behavioral therapy, right, the Socratic questioning. How do we actually know that this is so, right?

And sometimes we just believe things are true because they've always been true. It doesn't mean they make sense, right? So I used to use an analogy with my patients talking about something similar, why is it weird to eat a hamburger for breakfast, but it's okay to eat pancakes and sausage. It's basically the same stuff, right? So it's all about how we think about it, how we apply that lens. 

And so by having this introspective piece, a brilliant strategy that I think anybody should be utilizing, whether they're a parent or a leader. So thank you for setting the table for this. Now I want to walk back to this victory mindset. And the discipline, the integrity piece, that's pretty self-explanatory. But what really piqued my interest was taking inspired action. Right? 

And so a lot of people talk about action plans and action strategies, but nobody stops to think about the difference between taking inspired action or taking garbage action. Right? And there is, for those of us that are effective leaders, there's a huge difference between being productive and being busy, right? So I think that parallel applies, but talk to us in the world of Rebecca Fitzsimmons and Tactical Harmony, talk to us about inspired action. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

I love it, Dr. Richard. It's like you're in my mind. I absolutely love it. Because you can be busy and not make any progress. I actually did a podcast episode on this. I think it was titled, Are You Busy or Are You Making Progress and How to Unpack That? Because so often we're like, oh, I've got all these things on my plate and I'm so busy. And you are, but are you moving the needle? Are you moving the proverbial ball down the field? Are you getting from where you are to where you want to go? And a lot of people will say, well, no, I'm too busy. And I was like, exactly. 

So it's really a time management problem when you're kind of looking at it from that lens, because we all have the same amount of time in the day. And time, I love time. I can talk about time for so many hours, ironically, as we're talking about time because there's no substitute for it. It cannot be created. It cannot be destroyed. It is. 

And so taking inspired action, to answer your question, is not just taking the actions or the mundane, the things, but what is actually moving the needle? What am I -- when I say inspired, I mean that boils down to authenticity and having that integrity with yourself, which is number two of the victory mindset is I'm anchored to that. That is my what and why, the how is going to come. So I'm when I'm anchored in that and I'm moving, is this serving my greater good? Is this action, this movement that I am making today getting me closer to where I want to go? 

It could be -- and I think people over complicate things because complexity is the enemy of execution. It could start by sending the email. Send the text message, reach out to the person, get the book, gain the skill, whatever it is, start where you are. Because I think we romanticize the ending, what we want, but then we dread the execution and we don't actually move and take that inspired action. 

And so if you have that what and why, that's your inspiration, that's your integrity, your truth. It's honest. It's raw. And only you have it. Only you have it. You, your creator gave you your vision, your heart, your mind. And so if you're aligned with that and taking inspired action, actions that are aligned with that, you're going to feel good. You're going to see results. Life's going to be electric, right? You're going to feel free. It's liberating. Your emotions are a compass of how you're doing in life. So you're going to feel differently. You're going to feel aligned. And that can be foreign for a lot of people. 

And a word of caution to everyone listening, that when you step into the unknown, or something that's not familiar, your brain's going to throw a temper tantrum, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we want to keep you in your comfort zone, and be happy, and be good, and what is this new thing that you're trying, or whatever, and it kind of jolts you. And that's what the brain's doing, that's its job, but that's when you grow. When you're outside that comfort zone and you're taking that uncomfortable action, you're growing. You grow through what you go through and then you're able to get feedback and what's working and what's not and then able to go to the next level and the next level. And it really allows you to step in to your highest truth and who you're meant to be. Only made possible, Dr. Richard, by taking those inspired actions continuously, every single day. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

So what you basically just described is the neuroscience of habit formation and change, because our bodies are designed to fight change at every level, right? It's all about homeostasis. So I love this. You're describing things that make me happy, not even knowing that they make me happy, right? Like we're talking about the same stuff. So I love this tremendously. Okay. 

So taking inspired action, perfectly clear, brilliantly explained. Grace. Let's talk about grace. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Grace. It's a beautiful word. Grace. Yeah. I'm not going to define it in the Webster's dictionary time, but how the lens in which I look through and define and embody grace, right, because we can understand it, we got to live it. We got to breathe it, is having that compassion and understanding for yourself. It really means that, and others, and with our creator. 

And having that grace means you understand you're not going to always get it right every single day. And that's a gift. That is a gift. And once we reframe our mindset and realize, wow, everything is happening to serve my greater good and for me, right? And so it's either a lesson or it's a blessing. And that's how I take and claim and maintain my personal power, my energy and my life force. And if I didn't have grace with myself, if I was so hard on myself, like, oh, why did I make that mistake? Or I screwed up that project and my boss is going to kill me or whatever it is, or you made a mistake at home and oh my husband or wife is going to just lose their mind, right, you're not having grace with yourself. 

And I'm not saying don't push yourself and assess the feedback, use it. But again, it's having that grace to understand, okay, I'm going to look at this situation. It's a lesson or a blessing. And I'm going to get stronger, better, leaner, and faster because of it, because I have grace with myself and love. I have that nurturing of myself, understanding I know who I am, and I know that everything is for my greater good, to give back to myself and to others. 

And so grace is such a huge component, because if we're hard on ourselves, if we're not looking at things that are happening for us and are greater good, you're going to have a harder time in life and the pain and suffering can be avoided once we incorporate some of these things. 

And one important note, Dr. Richard, I want to say is it's not to be, oh, positive thinking forever. We should -- we're never going to have pain, suffering or any negative emotion. No, those are part of the -- that's the spectrum of emotion. And it really highlights the duality of life. We know happy because of sad. We know light because of dark, love and grief. And so the grace between, as we move back and forth between the emotions and we process these things and we move through these things, allow us to step into that level of what we should be, what we're meant to be. And so that would be my answer for grace. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Oh, I love this because exactly right, the way you described it. This isn't jump out of an airplane with no parachute and give a thumbs up. Everything's great. I mean, we acknowledge that things can be bad, but I think what I heard from you is, and this resonates with me as a parent and a leader, failure is cool to me, right? Because I know I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. And I'm going to have the opportunity to analyze what went right, what went wrong, what could be done differently. And then I adapt. But I would also add to that, sometimes things happen to us that aren't our fault. Right? And that's an opportunity too. We can either get mad and ball our fist up at the sky and blame whatever deity we choose to believe in, or we can say even there, what are the lessons from this? Right? And so, it's all about that growth, which I love.

So Rebecca, this is all exceptional stuff. I do want to give you some time because we talked about it a little bit before we hit the red button here and started recording. And amidst our dog conversation, you mentioned that you have a new book called Unleashed launching a little bit later this fall. Wonder if you could talk to us a little bit what was the impetus for writing the book? And tell us what readers are going to get from it. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, thank you. I appreciate this opportunity, Dr. Richard. Yeah. So it should be out later this fall. And it's called Unleashed. And it's the holistic leadership insights derived from our canine companions. And if you know me, you know that I derive wisdom from unconventional places. Look at my past, look at where I've come from and where I'm going. 

And dogs are such a source of inspiration and love, and they organically display all things holistic. They holistically lead their lives from mind, body, and spirit. Everything from the power of gratitude and mindfulness, to food, to discipline, grit, resilience, adventure, curiosity, love, and connection. And those are all things that I intimately discuss within my book. And I infuse how dogs showcase this every single day. And it really helps train your mind that when you, whether you're, especially if you're a dog lover, this one's for you. You're going to love it. 

But even if you're not, you'll start to look at things through a different lens. You're going to look at your dog differently. Like, wow, look at them sunbathe. And just be in the moment and be outside in nature, very content, very happy. What if I did that? What if I did that every day and took that moment of sitting outside in the sun and breathing in the fresh air and just being so radically aware using all of my senses and being anchored in the moment, not worried about the past, not worried about the future. Right now. 

And that, my friends, is where we create that beautiful spot. This is where we can create from. Not the past, not the future, right now. And so I give a million fun examples of my past and talk about dogs and holistic leadership and how it can serve you. That is the whole point of this book is how it can serve you how, it can grow you from where you are to where you want to go. And I'm just so thrilled to be able to share and just humbled and grateful to be able to share it with the world. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Fascinating. It sounds really, really cool. I want to read it. I'm excited about it. So thanks for letting us know about that. And I wanted to also give you a moment because I know you've got your own really successful podcast. I'd love for you to spend a minute or two talking about what people are going to get when they go tune into the Tactical Harmony podcast. 

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, I love that. Thank you for asking, Dr. Richard. Yeah, it's Tactical Harmony podcast. It's on Apple and Spotify. And I purposely designed these for the busy, ambitious professionals and leaders out there. You got a lot going on. So you're going to find that my podcasts are very short. They're 10 minutes, 15 minutes long. And right now, it's a solo podcast, but I do have a vision to bring on guests in the future. So I'm going to expand that. 

But for right now, it's easy. You're walking around the block with your dog. You're on your way to work. You can pop in your headphones or throw it in your car, and you're going to get these strategies, these tactics, these tried-and-true timeless things that will help you from a mindset and holistic leadership perspective. And I cover the gamut, mind, body and spirit, all of the things. 

And most importantly, I give you actionable strategies. These are practical things that you can do that day. And I really offer that challenge in every single episode so you're able to say, okay, I learned these things. Maybe you've heard of it. Maybe you haven't. So you're gaining that knowledge, refining it or having that reminder to yourself. But then you have actions that you can take every single episode to level up, to grow, to expand, to step into greater levels of leadership for yourself and for others. And so, it's been a wonderful, crazy ride. And I just, I absolutely love doing it. I truly pour my heart and soul into every episode.

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Awesome. And we'll have links to it as well in the show notes for those of you that want to check it out. Rebecca, I have loved, loved our time together today. As you know, I wrap up every episode by asking my guests just this one single question, that is, what is your biggest helping, that most important piece of information you'd like somebody to walk away with after hearing our conversation today?

Rebecca Fitzsimmons: 

Oh, beautiful ending. I would say humans are so incredibly powerful and capable of absolutely anything that the only limit is the limit that you place on yourself. And so having a victory mindset, right, have the discipline, the integrity, the inspired action, and the grace. If you start to infuse these in your life, however slight, you're going to see change within yourself and everything around you, which is a crystallization of who you are. 

And that is what I would want all of your amazing listeners to really tap in to is that victory mindset and you are capable of anything. And I mean anything that you put your mind to. And Dr. Richard, I want to thank you so very much for having me on your amazing podcast. I'm a huge fan of yours. You're doing incredibly work. And so I really want to take that moment and express my gratitude to you and to the amazing work that you were doing in this world. 

Dr. Richard Shuster: 

Well, I was just about to thank you for coming on this podcast and doing the amazing work you do. So thank you for that. It means a lot. 

And I want to also thank everybody who took time out of your day. Rebecca knows we all know how busy we are. So thank you for listening to this conversation. If you liked it, if you learned something, if you're going to use your victory mindset today, go give us a follow on a five star review on your podcast app of choice, because that is what helps other people find the show. 

But most importantly, go out there today and do something nice for somebody else. Even if you don't know who they are and posting your social media feeds using the hashtag #MyDailyHelping because the happiest people are those that help others.